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A Russian vaudeville Team, Lavrov and Dipshitz, and an American president walk into a bar and the vaudeville team say to the president, “Hey buddy, here’s a pepsi float, two scoops, now what kind of secrets can you donate to the cause of Russian oligarchy?”

And the president laughs, and slaps both Lavrov and Dipshitz on the shoulders and says … “Comrade, do I have some stories for you. Get your pen and paper out and maybe fire up your androids because this could take a while … Bartender, vodka … leave the goddamn bottle.”

Unfortunately, the bartender was a stringer for Associated Press with a fully charged iPhone 7 and the rest … is the story of The Rump’s presidency. Russians, leaks, stupidity and unbelievable story lines that sound like the beginning of a Catskills shine-me-on.

The Rump, erstwhile president and leader of the free world, has gone and done it again. He has tweeted, he has acted in an unprofessional manner, and … in this episode of the Young and the Feckless he has given the Russians secrets that the security community classify as Code-word intelligence. Highly classified. That’s maybe not a crime, but it’s bloody reckless and, if we can believe a phalanx of security experts that have fallen over each other to get to a microphone, downright bloody stupid.

Why isn’t it a crime? Because (and you can thank the zigs and zags of constitutional law for this) when the president leaks, yes, when The Rump leaks highly classified intelligence, he effectively releases that intel from the realm of code-word intelligence and renders it declassified. Ipso facto, the president of the USA cannot leak. Because, you know, he’s the president.

And it’s not quite that simple, but it is in fact what happens.

And if you’re wondering if this guy, The Rump, will ever face impeachment, you can keep on wondering. I’m wondering and I stand to win $200 if he is gone by November. And here’s how stupid it gets. I’m confident that I’m going to win. Because The Rump is a walking talking moron and he ain’t done. No … far from it.

There are tapes of his conversations with FBI Director James Comey. Or there ain’t. Either choice is another staple in the cardboard coffin for The Rump.

Trump threatened Comey in a tweet that said you better hope I ain’t got tapes before you start leaking to the press. He tweeted that. If there are tapes most rational people believe that Comey wins. And if there aren’t? The president lied … again.

Putin has just put out a statement that just in case anyone in the US intelligence community needs any clarification he can personally supply transcripts of the conversation between his two spies, Lavrov and Dippshitz, and the acting president of the USA The Rump. Yes, that’s right, the murderer oligarch of the Russian complex, Vlad Mad Stalin, erm, Putin just announced that he has a full transcript of the Oval Office conversation that he says proves that the president did not in fact leak code-word intelligence from espionage partner, Israel, to his twin zombies, Lavrov and Dippshitz.

So, we’re all good now, right?

Which reminds me. Three international spies walk into a bar. The MI6 guy says, “what a bloody cock-up, innit?”

The CSIS agent says, “who is this moron sitting in the White House, eh?”

The mossad agent says, “Oi vey, this is one stupid gentile!”

So, what’s the punch line. There is none. I was in a bar in Ottawa last week and that’s a true story. I know some spies. I grew up in Ottawa and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.

The bottom line? Donald Trump, The Rump is no longer just a laughingstock. No longer just a walking billboard for overreach. No longer just a moronic zealot with a bad case of malignant narcissism.

The Rump is a toxic presence and a dangerous entity. There are no boundaries that he is unwilling to cross. No limit to his stupidity. No guardrails on his unfettered lies.

Lying in politics transcends political party and era. It is, in some ways, an inherent part of the profession of politicking.

But Donald Trump is in a different category. The sheer frequency, spontaneity and seeming irrelevance of his lies have no precedent. Nixon, Reagan and Clinton were protecting their reputations; Trump seems to lie for the pure joy of it. A whopping 70 percent of Trump’s statements that PolitiFact checked during the campaign were false, while only 4 percent were completely true, and 11 percent mostly true. (Compare that to the politician Trump dubbed “crooked,” Hillary Clinton: Just 26 percent of her statements were deemed false.) (Courtesy of Politico) 

His lies in office rate higher, and while it’s hard to keep up, Politico fact check are clocking him at 75 percent and rising. That means that 3 in 4 of the sitting president’s statements to the American electorate are lies.

Remember that the first step to fascism rests on the foundation. The big lie, with tentacled lies that root that foundation (Make America great again) deeper into the national psyche. For Hitler the lie rest in the inherent genetic makeup of the Aryan race. The holocaust followed from there. The infringement of borders, the ovens, the mass executions and the myth of the super race followed. Dominoes fall when the press and the opposition are eliminated.

Trump has assailed the free press and he is urging Beauregard Sessions to seek leaner libel laws. Sessions is advocating for stiffer mandatory minimums. Both men want to put constraints on press freedom and the first amendment. Trump wants to ban muslim immigration. And now, we learn that Trump has asked the FBI Director to halt the investigation of fired and disgraced former General Mikey Flynn.

Impeachment is now … now and forever … in order.

Impeach The Rump now, because later may be too late.

A lying sonofabitch of a president walks into a bar.

The bartender says: “Get the fuck out of my bar you sick bastard.”

The president says: “You’re fired!”

The bartender laughs.

And so does the world.


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