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Oh, well we know how the senile mind functions in these days of ‘whine and manifestos’ as Donald Trump rumbles, stumbles, mumbles and fumbles his way through the treacherous archipelagos of his loosely-slung brain.

Thus when EU President Jean-Claude Juncker met with the dotard on July 26, 2018, he came armed with colorful cue cards dressed up in comic sans font and sequined with lullaby prose in an attempt to keep the moron engaged in what are ultimately finicky details of the Europe-American trade paradigm.

How simple?

Well, simple enough to be understood by a man with the economic up function of an anteater on Red Bull and vodka.

Here, let the New York Times take it from here:

“Jean-Claude Juncker, president of the European Commission, came to Washington to try to persuade President Trump to stop his trade war with the European Union. Juncker’s approach, reports the Wall Street Journal, involved dumbing the material down just short of the point of using finger puppets to explain what “trade” means:

Backing up his points, Mr. Juncker flipped through more than a dozen colorful cue cards with simplified explainers, the senior EU official said. Each card had at most three figures about a specific topic, such as trade in cars or standards for medical devices.

“We knew this wasn’t an academic seminar,” the EU official said. “It had to be very simple.”

And that dear friends is how the most powerful men in the world try to shake the attention deficits out of the man holding the nuclear codes that if brandished will send us into a dystopian funk “like the world has never seen before.” That last bit is a well worn trope that the dope likes to roll out when he’s lost for a colorful bon mot.

We knew the man was dumb as a brick.

We knew he was self-absorbed.

We know he’s a malignant narcissist.

We did not know that world leaders would design a whole new blueprint for dealing with a madman.

Color. Uppercase fonts. Lots of arrows. One syllable words.

The special needs of a sitting president.

Nothing to see here folks.

The NY Times ends with a chunk of sarcasm, which is a good way to end any story about Trump.

“The Journal does not report if the cards employed pictures. In any case, even if Trump was not able to fully absorb the simplified analysis, he no doubt was able to appreciate the color and the motion.”

God bless America.

And if Bill Maher is right? And there is no god?

Aw … Fuck it!


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